Pros and Cons of Eloping | What No One Else is Telling You

You’ve heard some great things about eloping but have some questions on the pros and cons of eloping!  Will I regret it?  What does it even look like?  So, in true-you-fashion, you need to know the pros and cons of eloping!! We’re elopement photographers, guides, and officiants who have seen eloping couples lay out the true pros and cons of eloping, and we think you deserve to know realistically how stellar, yet legitimate, these options are for you!  We will cover 5 pros and cons of eloping to help you make your decision on eloping with confidence!

Related: Eloping in Montana for a peek into what we believe is the most glorious elopement location in the US!

5 Pros and Cons of eloping you need to hear:

Pros of eloping: Complete Flexibility

Traditional weddings have a pretty cut and dry outlook towards the order of events and the events themselves.  Elopements allow you to create your wedding day(s) from scratch and make it 100% authentic to you both.  You can fill your day with whatever you desire with  no fear of judgement from friends or guests because you’ll only be inviting those who truly “get it.” Your day can be adventurous, chill, a bit of both.  You can bring your dog, take a helicopter tour, eat charcuterie from breakfast amidst a cloud inversion.  Your ceremony can be at the beginning, middle, or end of your day.  There is no set schedule placed on elopement by society, and thus, you have true power to create the day that makes you feel most at home with your partner.  This is a big pro in the pros and cons of eloping!

Related: Elopement Photo Ideas to get some ideas on how to personalize your elopement experience

Cons on eloping:  Limited Guests

Speaking of guests, some couples view it as a con they can only bring so many people to their elopement.  Most of our couples, however, find that having up to 25 guests is sufficient to feel their friends and family are represented and in support of their union.  Other couples don’t see this as a con at all, because they get the privacy of either eloping with just themselves or bringing just a few meaningful relationships along.  So this can also be a pro in some couples’ book.  As you search pros and cons of eloping, you’ll find it depends entirely on you what what you really consider a pro and a con.

Related: Moody September Wedding for a great example of a just us elopement or Avalanche Amphitheater Wedding so you can see a chill elopement with guests

Pros of eloping:  Added Intimacy

Some folks just aren’t built to celebrate their wedding day and express their deep and unwavering commitment to one another alongside 250 guests.  An elopement day offers a day where you can really express your vulnerabilities with one another without fear of someone overhearing.  This is a major pro for couples with introverts or couples who have a difficult time being in their feelings all the time.  The truth is expressing yourself can be kind of awkward, and it’s better to not have to do that on a stage.  On a “just us” elopement day, odds are a chipmunk might be the only thing that has the ability to hear your vows!  And we think that’s pretty cool!  Potential for intimacy should be a pro in anyone’s perspective on the pros and cons of eloping!

Cons of eloping:  Limited Planning Resources

As you begin to plan your elopement, you’ll find there are limited free planning resources in comparison to a traditional wedding.  Traditional weddings already have a flow, and some couples do not enjoy the added freedom and creativity that comes with eloping as you will create your day entirely from start to finish.  However, we offer planning assistance to all of our eloping couples with ample resources, questionnaires, and guides on every question you could have.  Our how to elope guide is always a great starting point too!  Limited resources can actually be a pro in the pros and cons of eloping as it gives you the freedom to really create your wedding day to be 100% you.

Pros of eloping:  Adventurous Locations

Eloping gives you the option to marry your partner in a place that is meaningful to you and feels like home like at one of these Best Places to Elope in the US!  When considering pros and cons of eloping, some couples feel most at peace and most themselves when adventuring together on a crisp morning or soaking in a gorgeous West Coast sunset while they say their vows.  Big weddings do not afford you the luxury of bringing 100 guests to a mountain top, even if that mountain top is where you are most at ease and spend most of your free time.  You can get married *almost* anywhere you can think of with the right planning help and creative thinking.  A volcano is an option, underwater is an option, a glacier is an option, a mountain trail is an option, a black sandy PNW beach is an option.  An Airbnb elopement is a great way to have a venue feel while also engaging adventure, and we’d highly recommend it!  There is truly no limit to where you can adventure or express your vows.

Cons of eloping:  Unwanted Spontaneity

Speaking of the great outdoors, Mother Nature is not always forthcoming with her plans for your wedding day.  Some couples do not desire the added potential of rain, wind, etc. on their day and would like some predictability.  Conversely, some couples love the thrill of making a rain or snow plan for their day because being able to roll with the punches is a part of who they are.  Some folks aren’t spontaneous in nature, so this ends up being a con in the pros and cons of eloping–though it could really go either way.

Pros of eloping:  Cost Effectiveness

Elopements, on average, only cost one fourth of the traditional wedding.  The average wedding in America cost just over $33,000 in 2019 while the average elopement cost just over $8,000 with all the bells and whistles as we found out when writing our How Much Does it Cost to Elope resource for couples.  Eloping couples are able to do more with their wedding day and prioritize experiences over things while still saving a big buck to put towards any debt or future goals like buying a house or starting a business.

Cons of eloping:  Disapproving Opinions

Your relationships are important to you, and sadly, some of those relationships may be strained by your choice to elope.  Friends may be jealous you have chosen such a stellar way to get married while some family may be upset they didn’t make the tiny guest list.  Overall though, it is likely tensions will cease if your loved ones are given time to process your decision and kind words in the initial announcement of your elopement.  The pros and cons of eloping depend wildly on your ability to communicate well and take the pressure off if friends and family aren’t as excited as you are at first.

Pros of eloping:  Mental Wellness

This is one of the biggest pros when thinking of pros and cons of eloping.  We cannot express enough how much stress a traditional wedding can cause if you are not both overly excited about planning and organizing.  Wedding planning stress is all too frequent, and frankly, we love when couples say no to that stress altogether.  Alternatively if you hire a planner, you will pay (and rightfully so) for their giftings.  This may cause stress as you rack up a bill for your wedding as well.  Elopements feel more like planning a fun, all-about-you vacation where the decisions are less about being prim and proper and more about what kind of adventure you want to have together on your wedding day.  As an added bonus, being outdoors is statistically proven to boost an individual’s mental health and improve focus.  You will want to be in a positive mental state on your wedding day and have the ability to focus on your commitment to one another.

Cons of eloping: Etiquette Confusion

Eloping has a lot of perks like flexibility, personalization, mental peace, stellar views, and giving an authentic-to-you wedding experience.  It does, however, cause confusion over parts of the wedding and engagement process.  We get a lot of questions from eloping couples over events such as showers, bridal party trips, and other traditional expectations placed on them.  Some eloping families sadly do not shower them with gifts because they feel it’s weird if they’re not actually coming to the wedding.  However, a lot of eloping couples are at a point in their lives and career where they are settled and do not need house gifts or awkward parties with their great aunt glenda.  It depends upon your needs.  Some eloping couples do still receive gifts, send elopement announcements, and so much more so that their experience is similar to that of a traditional wedding while carrying all the perks of an elopement as well.

Summary on the 5 pros and cons of eloping:

Pros of eloping:

• Complete Flexibility
• Adventurous Locations
• Cost Efficiency
• Added Intimacy
• Mental Wellness

Cons of eloping:

• Limited Guests
• Limited Planning Resources
• Disapproving Opinions
• Etiquette Confusion
• Unwanted Spontaneity

Of course we believe eloping is a great option for a lot of couples, and we have seen a lot of the aforementioned cons turn into major pros as couples begin to craft their elopement day with our guidance.  What do you think?  What are your pros and cons of eloping?  Does eloping sound right for you?

If so, contact us to get started planning yours and book your elopement photographer!

Additional Resources for Couples:

Glacier National Park Elopement | For if you’ve found yourself thinking Glacier National Park is the perfect place to get married!

Eloping in Montana | Because you need an all inclusive checklist to elope in this crazy beautiful elopement location!

How to Elope | So you can have a checklist and guide to get legally married anywhere!

Should I Elope | In case your mind isn’t made up yet, but you’re looking for help from real eloping couples!